Myself did not go lie awake agonizing over the rancid grammar of others last night, so myself is not exhausted. I, on the other hand, did and am. If I hear one more “Joe and myself will take care of it,” I will commit cubicle-kari. Seriously, people. You’re embarrassing yourselves. (No, since you asked. The etymology of embarrass is not what you think it is, but I hope you feel that way when I hear you using ‘myself’ as a first person pronoun. It’s called a “reflexive pronoun,” so reflect before you use it.)
Here’s the skinny. You would not say, “Myself will take care of it”; therefore you do not say, “Joe and myself will take care of it.” You say ”I will take care of it,” and you must say, “Joe and I will take care of it.” Myself my em-barr-ass! Cut it out.
And here’s another version: “Please fax it over to Brad and myself.” Now, would you say “Fax it over to myself”? Well, you might, but please don’t. “Fax it over to (Brad and) me.” Period.
OK, I know you’re all worried now because your Aunt Tilly told you it should be “Brad and I.” No, it shouldn’t. Aunt Tilly was just in a tizzy because she grew up hearing how she should stop saying, “Matilda and me are gonna go hunt dinosaurs.” And indeed she should have stopped, because it’s “I” when you’re the subject, and also because there really weren’t any dinosaurs and she was telling whoppers. She should have said, “Matilda and I are going to get dirty and annoy the neighbors.”
The point Aunt Tilly was missing is that “me” is a legitimate and under-used word. If you’re the object of the action, you should say “me,” even if there’s someone else involved. You wouldn’t say, “The feds cuffed I.” You would say, “The feds cuffed me.” So when they cuff your boss, too – and we know it was all his fault anyway – you’ll say, “The feds cuffed my no-good, rotten boss and me.”
And please be advised that “I” and “myself” are feuding. You may never begin a sentence with “I, myself…” Or at least wait until I’m out of the room.
So what the heck is “myself” for? “I gave myself a Valentine’s Day gift because no one else was speaking to me after my attack of grammatical priggery” would be a legitimate use of the word. You can even say, “I can’t stand her, myself.”
Now I’m taking myself to dinner to celebrate your grammatical rehabilitation.
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yeah my dad will like this
Melody – you are TOO hilarious! Don’t know if this will reach you, in that I’ve discovered it may not, with this “growing technology” . . . I truly hope you are well. (The “Me, Myself, and I: the body of one; GET IT RIGHT!” (I love it!) When you have the chance, please let me know how you’re doing; I would love to hear from you. I hope you are well; I miss your intelligence(!)- Victoria
Of course, when *I* do it, it’s merely ironic.
Of course I meant Melody!
Perfect! Improper use of grammar makes me crazy and your article made me laugh because I can also see myself being kept awake stewing over the twisted syntax of others. Thanks for the laugh Melanie!